He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
