her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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