He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
