Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
