cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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