So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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