there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
