Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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