he wants to bone in the snuggie
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
