You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
