I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
