theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
