another moral hangover. fuck.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
