Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
