So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
