So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
