First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
