well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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