I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
