Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
