I wanna bring you to show and tell
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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