Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
