make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
