There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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