God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
