The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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