if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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