the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
