Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
