Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish you could order shots online.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
