Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
