he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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