margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
