never play flip cup with pint glasses
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
