There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
