so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So vagazzling was a success
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
