dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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