my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
