ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
