theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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