I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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