yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
