Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
