Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
