Having a random hookup so left but love u
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
