I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
