I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
