it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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