At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
