We got so high we made milksteak
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
wow bdsm is so cute
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
