hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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