I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
