then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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