If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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