just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
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If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Floor bacon is actually really good
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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