Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
