id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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