I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
