So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
